Calvin & Hobbes (A,H,&P IV and V))

Weirdos From Another Planet

- Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
- Physical education is what you learn from having your face in someone's armpit right before lunch.
- I've got to start listening to those quiet, naggin doubts.
- Life's a lot more fun when you're not repsonsible for your actions.
- You know, sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take the time to enjoy where we are. Days go by and we hardly notice them. Life becomes a blur. Often it takes some calamity to makes us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we've made, but it;s too late to change anything.
- At times like these, all mom can think of is how long she was in labor with me.
- We're just tiny specs on a planet hurling thorugh the infinte blacknes...let's go in and turn on all the lights.
- As if life isn't short enough.
- You can't be cool if you don't have an attitude. Hmm, we could be courteously deferential.
- Why can't I ever build character at a Miami condo or a casino somewhere?
- Ever notice how tense gronw-ups get when they're recreating?
- Sometimes one should just look at things and think about things, without doing things.
- The female gender would be a lot more tolerable if it wasn't so darn cynical.
- That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
- Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time.
- There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.
- Acid rain, toxic wastes, holes in the ozone, sewage in the oceans...the only bright side to all this is that eventually there may not be a piece of the planet worth fighting over.
- I don't see how anyone could ever fall in love. People are jerks. ...(hobbes)... Sometimes they are, but look at all the colors on the trees toady. I think it's more fun to see something like this WITH someone then just by yourself...(calvin)...I guesssss so.
- I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.
- Moms would be a lot more fun if tehy were a little more gullible.
- I feel a big sneeze welling up, which is always a sure sign that I'm not carrying a handkerchief.
- I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
- It must be awful to be a girl. I'm sure it's frustrating knowing that men are bigger, stronger, and better at abstract thought than women...(susie)...The thought of a jerk like you begging one of us for a date when you're 17.
- Do you think God let's you plea bargain?

Revenge of the Baby-Sat

- Mothers are the necessity of invention.
- Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
- I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.
- The best presents don't come in boxes...(they hug)...I'll treasure this one forever.
- There's nothing prettier than new fallen snow on a clear, freezing moonlit night...through a window that is.
- I suppose it's best to hold fast when you can and compromise when you need to...(calvin)...That's a lot more mature than I think I care to be.
- There's something magical about having a fire. The crackles and snaps, the warm, flickering light...everything always seems safe and cozy if you're sitting in front of a fire.
- I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like this let you savor a bad mood.
- Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
- I can't think of anything I'd rather anticipate than have right away. Can you?...(hobbes)... Death comes to mind.
- The longer you wait for the mail, the less there is in it.
- When you are serious about having fun, it's not much fun at all.
- Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
- My likely historical significance is a terrible burden.
- I think most hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
- This is one of those things you always figure will happen to someone else...(mom)...unfortunately, we're all 'someone else' to someone else.
- A man's home is his castle, but it shouldn't have to be his fortress.
- I don't think I'd have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I'd known it was all going to be ad-libbed.
- I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
- Things are never quite as scary when you have a best friend.
- People pay more attention to you when they think you're up to something.
- Mom wouldn't care about these types of things is she owuldn't keep finding out about them.
- I wish my bathtub had an agitator.
- Some women just weren't meant to be mothers.
- In my book food should be nutrition and entertainment.
- People think it must be fun to be a super-genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
- We supre-powers have it tough.
- How can kids know so much and still be so dumb.
- It's only work if somebody makes you do it.
-

I.V....That's Old School for Four...

I.V....that's old school for four.
I.V....that's new school for intra-venous.
In Vino Veritas.

That's roughly old school for 'There is Truth in Wine'.

Patricia's Foods, where you 'Come Find Your Smile' had a wine tasting event last night. As an employee of the company, I tend to work the majority of these events. Whether it is pouring for the customers, offering serving suggestions and comparable varieties, or demo-ing a new specialty food product such as the ever popular Abita Root Beer mixed with Cask & Cream.

Root Beer Float
1 part Natural root beer (Abita, Boylan's, etc...)
1 part Cask & Cream

Use a natural root beer so the sugars meld better. A non-natural root beer can curdle the drink or cause a really bitter taste. Use cask & cream over Bailey's. The brandy based C&C again melds better than the irish whiskey base in Bailey's.

Fantastico.

Anyhow, this tasting I was at as a participant. And I participated, participated, participated. Let's see there was the...



Adam Puchta Norton - A+ - not usually a fan of dry reds. this one was not super dry and very well balanced. favorite of the bunch.


Les Bourgeois Syrah - A - Again with the drier reds! Very good wine, quite tasty. yummm


Cline 'Ancient Vines' Zinfindel - A - Apparently I found a taste for dry red wine recently and this one rounded out the top three of the day for me.

Les Bourgeois Chardonel - B+ - pear flavor dry white with a smooth clean finish
Adam Puchta Vignoles - B - sweet white, very good, but not tart enough for my tastes
Chateau Ste. Michelle 'Horse Heaven' Savvy Blanc - B - great mid dry/sweet vanilla, grapefruit

Folie a Deux Menage a Trois Rose - C+ - merlot/syrah/gewurtz mix. interesting
Adam Puchta Blush - C+ - best blush i can recall, maybe due to watermelon/passion fruit tinges
Les Bourgeois Solay - C - good drinkable cheaper blend that includes 50% chardonel.

Les Bourgeois Vignoles-Traminette - D+ - kinda blah, not sweet or tart, just..there
Pedroncelli 'Russian River Valley' Pinot Noir - D - only pinot noirs i like have a strawberry tinge
Chateau Ste Michelle 'Indian Wells' Merlot - D - still don't like the merlots apparently...
Adam Puchta Jazz Berry - F - apparently a you love it or you hate it wine. might as well drink Boone's for the sweetness level. an off raspberry flavor

Well, after a quick try (or two) of each of these wines, I headed off to Legends for a little hang out time. One of those nights where you just need to 'chill'.

Once again I was congratulated by some and berated by others for using big words like 'Symbiotic Relationship' in the conversation.

Near the end of the night I received a text from a young lady who I hadn't seen in a while. I left, hoping to hang out with her for a while, but those plans were foiled. So what did I do? Went home and ended up finding a good, nay, GREAT webpage that had the tenets of the philosophy of Epicurus. Fair warning that a blog of Epicurus is forthcoming.

So in a way, an evening that started with wine, ended up with some truths.
Funny how we find truth in some of the oddest places. Wine and the internet. I though that combination would be much more likely to lead to bad online purchases, drunk messaging friends that live an ocean away, or bleary eyes due to surfing too long. Not that those didn't occur as well of course...

A, H, & P III

So today was going to begin with golf at 8 in the morning.

That didn't happen.
Strange that this is so, considering the person planning it got a bit plastered last night.

So instead today has been a day treating myself. Some reading, a lot of music, watched a quick movie while doing a little work(so it's not all treating myself).

In the course of my reading, I decided to pop up another blog of Calvin quotes for all of you good hearted people who are reading this. Are there actually any of you reading this? I'm aware I missed a month or so of blogging, and so lost a lot of my readership, but here's hoping that at least some of you that are now getting back to Sarah's blog might happen to stop by mine as well.

POO : Awesome job by Sarah and the Code Red Crew! Love the blog on stltoday, and congrats on being picked to do it for a good long time now. Keep the great place ideas coming. Now I'll finally be able to offer some ideas when I come to town for visits!
Check it out people:
www.stltoday.com/blogs/category/entertainment-20bucks-code-red/

UPOO

Oh yeah,

POO: P.O.O. means Point Of Order, a sidebar if you will. and UPOO is basically Un-Point Of Order. I sometimes forget the crap I do automatically that makes other people scratch their heads...If they are brave enough to even attempt figuring me out that is...

UPOO

Yukon Ho!

- I obey the letter of the law, if not the spirit.
- Natural exuberance is one of those qualities that makes me so darn endearing.
- Even though we're both talking English, we're not speaking the same language.
- Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
- Girls flip for guys in jams.
- I'm easily wiled by a woman in a swimsuit.
- I'll bet future civilizations find out more about us than we'd like them to know.
- I take it there's no qualifying exam to be a dad.
- One of the best things about summer is going to sleep with the fan on. The gentle breeze blowing, the droning hum...Everything seems safe and serene when the fan is on. It's cool and lulling and perfect for sleep.
- Someday I hope you have a kid that puts you through what I've gone through. Yeah, that's what grandma says she used to tell YOU.
- Sometimes the anticipation of something is more fun than the thing itself once you get it.
- The end of summer is always hard on me...Trying to cram in all the goofing off I've been meaning to do.
- They can make me do it, but they can't make me do it with dignity.
- The only reason mom and dad are my parents is because I was born to them.
- Leave it to a mother to drag out a goodbye.
- My life needs a rewind/erase button. ....And a volume control.
- Girls are like slugs-they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what.
- People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
- Any day you have to take a bath and go to bed early isn't a day off in my book.
- Sometimes its good to hush up a while and let Autumn stick in a few words.
- If you don't get a goodnight kiss, you get Kafka dreams.
- I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
- Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
- Santa Claus : kindly old elf, or CIA spook?
- This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists, why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist, what's the meaning of all this? I dunno...Isn't this a religious holiday? Yeah, but actually I've got the same questions about God.
- How cynically enterprising of you. It's the spirit of Christmas.
- What do you think is the meaning of true happiness? Is it money, cars and women? ...Or is it just money and cars?
- Nobody ever closed school on account of prettiness.
- I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already.
- Sometimes I think all my friends have been imaginary.
- Nobody knows how to pamper like a mom.

Sheep

This is a kick.

Go to your music player, set it to shuffle/random, and answer the following questions with the title of the FIRST song that you skip to each time. No cheating! (this may be a challenge for those of you that dont believe in shuffle--you know who you are!)

The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:
'Let's Get It On' - Tenacious D...and if you feel like I feel sugah....I'm doing this while killing time before going to the bar to celebrate the birthday. Chances are this will be on the jukebox, so I may have to get up and sing now...

Your favorite thing to say when happy is:
'We Built This City' - Starship....Some say 'Hooray!' or 'Yippee!' I'm more of a bad synth-80s rock type...

Your message to the world:
'Fantastic Voyage' - Coolio...it's all one big long fantastic voyage people....

Your deepest secret:
'Act A Fool' - Ludacris...I'm pretty sure most people know I act a fool pretty often...

Your innermost desire:
'Screamer'- Good Charlotte....I prefer things quieter really....

Your oldest memory makes you think:
'I Get High' - Styles.....'i get high on your memory' is one of the first lines, high on life baby!...

Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:
'Satellite' - Dave Matthews...'and while i spend these hours, five senses reeling' that could be a good line for some nuptials...

On your deathbed, you'll whisper:
'I Kissed A Girl' - Jill Sobule.....or two, or three, or four, or five....

Your friends say behind your back:
'Kiss and Tell' - G Love & Special Sauce.....me, nay, I'm a gentleman....

You say behind your friends' back:
'Give A Little Bit' - Supertramp......'give a little bit, give a little bit of your love to me'...

Your opinion of email forwards:
'In The Garage' - Weezer...that should say garbage really....

When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:
'Losing You' - New Amsterdams....sleep, im losing you!!!

If you found yourself lost on a desert island, you'd yell:
'Policy of Truth' - Depeche Mode...the truth will set you free, maybe it will get you off a deserted island, too...

Right now, your feelings are:
'Hopes Up' - Soul Asylum...hopes are up for a good time tonight!

What's your excuse for forwarding this email?:
'Do Right' - Jimmie's Chicken Shack....doin' right by Jamil

Your life's soundtracK:
'Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World' - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole...perfect, couldn't ask for a better soundtrack to life, expecially after all the insights to the movie/song that i picked up from Tracy & Mike's wedding...

Your farewell message to the readers of this:
'Bang Bang Bang' - Group X.....hahahahahahahahaha, perfect....

***Now, put the next randomly chosen song as the title of this email, and repost the bulletin!

Personality

A few days ago I was talking with Amy and found out an old friend of ours from freshman year of college has a baby! This news excited me! Explanation time....

When you were in Elementary school, what did you do when you went home after school?

Maybe sit right down and do your homework? Hahahaha, ah ha, ha, hoo.....sorry, let me wipe away the tears there....ahhh

Watch a little TV? Animaniacs? Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? Jeopardy (I'm a dork, this has already been established.)

Play outside? A little Hop-Box, Jail break, Toccer, or snow fort building?

We did all that, but what most sticks out in my mind is playing with babies.

Of course there was my little sister who came around when I turned 5. Or the various cousins that my mother watched. Aaron, and Jason, and Lauren I remember at our house as babies a lot. But, our mother from time to time while we were growing up watched a few of the neighborhood babies while their mother's were at work. There are two specific ones I remember the most. I would have been about....10 or maybe a little older when she started watching them. They were adorable. Lauren and Margaret. They weren't sisters, and they were rarely at the house on the same days, but when they were, watch out, we had good times. Or on snow days, when we wouldn't go to school, but the adults still had to go to work. Full baby day!

These days probably assisted my becoming an absolute fool for babies, but i think it may be genetic as well. My folks are gonzo over babies all the time. Our grandparents were likewise. Most of our aunts and uncles, too. Now I know that lots of people go gaga for babies, but I think the trend in our family is slightly high. Or maybe I think so because of how much of a difference there can be between someone's usual demeanor and attitude, and those traits around a baby.

Long story short, too late I know, I like babies a lot.

So I wanted to see a picture of Michele's baby. To do this I joined MySpace. Scary at the best of times joining one of these sites. Who knows what friends from the past can come out of the woodwork on one of these sites. But I joined, caught up with a few people, and saw some baby pictures! Life is good.

But then I was reminded of a few other sites like that that I used to be a part of and I looked them up. I found one site that has all kinds of tests and keeps record of your scores on these tests.

I love tests. Standardized? Great. Math? Perfect. I even see trivia games like a test. I tend to only be competitive when it comes to my brain. Some might say overly competitive. I'll take that as a character flaw though. As they go, I don't see it as so bad.

Some of the tests on these sites include personality tests. The main one gives me 'The Boy Next Door' moniker. I'm comfortable with this. At least it isn't The Teddy Bear....

THE BOY NEXT DOOR

Kind, yearning, playful, you are The Boy Next Door. You're looking for real Love, a lot like girls do. It might not be manly, but it's sweet.

We think the next three years will be very exciting and fruitful ones for you. Your spontaneous, creative side makes you a charming date, and we think you have a horny side just waiting to shine. Or glisten, rather. You enter new relationships unusually hopeful, and the first moments are especially glorious. If you've had some things not work out before, so what.

On paper, most girls would name the Boy Next Door as their ideal mate. In the real world, however, you're often passed over for more dangerous or masculine men. You're the typical "nice guy:" without just a touch of cockiness, you're doomed with girls. A shoulder to cry on? Okay, sure. But never a penis to hold.

More than any other type, Boys Next Door evolve as they get older. As we said, many find true love, but some fail miserably in the search. These tarnished few grow up to be The Men Next Door, who are creepy as hell, offering backrubs to kids and what not.
THE END

Mostly true, I don't deny it. Except for the man next door part, ewww.

But elsewhere on this site, put together by some other third party was another personality test, which of course I took. Overkill is also a character flaw of mine, so sue me.

THE ARCHITECT
You are more introverted than extroverted. You are more intuitive than observant, you are more thinking based than feeling based, and you prefer to go with the flow rather than have a routine. The single word to describe your type is the Architect, which belongs to the larger group of rationals. You wish to sculpt the world around you. Others often find you arrogant, yet you have no desire to direct others, only to inform them. You must know the structure of things, and have a voracious appetite for knowledge. You are very rational in everything you do, and probably consider yourself smarter than most.
As a romantic partner, you can be playful with great energy to get things started, but not quite as good on follow through. You may have a tendency to hurt the more emotional types unintentionally by not sharing your own reactions and feelings as you can get swept up in your own ideas and projects. You want to be appreciated for your ability to respond quickly and to fix problems creatively. You need plenty of time to yourself - therefore your partner must respect your need for independence and originality.
THE END

I italicized the parts of that one that are dead on. Other parts are kinda true, but slightly hazy.
Sometimes its kind of scary what answering a few questions can show, generally of course, what kind of person you are.

Or is it just how you see yourself? Not as others see you?


Slightly adjusted quote of the day:
...faith is but a birthmark with which we are born, an impalpable umbilicus to time and place, which we rarely ponder to cut. Had your soul or mine cried its first in the Arab land, then a Muslim would you or I be.'

- the old Jew from In The Hand Of Dante by Nick Tosches