Holiday Musings

'Twas a fun holiday.

Oh, indubitably so.

Quite posh affairs were attended.

Indeed?

Indeed indeed.

Oh, jolly good fun. Jolly good. Much merriment was had?

The fare was magnificent, the decor opulent, and the entertainment, why, I guffawed repeatedly at the hilarity which ensued.

Alas, to have been there.

Alas indeed, my friend. Next year, good sir. Next year.

Next year, yes. I will bring the Christmas Goose! Hah! Haha!

Indeed! Hah! Hahaha!

BAM!


Sorry, got lost in a Dickensian holiday world there.


I wasn't planning on there being this long of a wait between blogs. I've had to endure longer waits while waiting for my brother getting to the point of a story though, so I don't feel too bad.

The holiday season started pretty early for me this year. No, not the week before Christmas. No, not Thanksgiving. Try Halloween. Nay, try late September. That was when i received the first load of Christmas goodies from the warehouse.
(Quick job descrip - Dept Manager - General Merch. & HBA
Basically everything at a grocery that isn't edible
or drinkable? That's mine. Yes, including Fem Hy.
Oh, and specialty food too.)
So around the time of year Knight Rider premiered (Sep 26 1982), I was already thinking of Santa and snow and reindeer and giant ornament candles and sugar plums dancing in my head.

Late October - I am informed that I should start getting ready to put out all the Xmas merch the day after Halloween. Let me tell you, it looks kind of odd putting clocks that chime a different carol every hour up next to fake blood and vampire fangs.

Early November - About this time I start wearing the black santa hat that says 'Bah Humbug' on the lower white felt rim.

Mid November - I'm back in the holiday mood after finding and listening to a bit of my 'Have Yourself a Jazzy Little Xmas' cd in which Ella sings that '...it's not the things we do at Christmas time, but the Christmas things we do all year thru...'

November 21st - I learn that we will be listening to Christmas music over the store speakers pretty much the whole time from the day after Thanksgiving to Christmas. Bah Humbug hat makes its reappearance.

November 25th - Xmas music begins.

November 30th - Already sick of Xmas music. Begin to wear Bah Humbug hat in my sleep. Sugar plums that were being dreamt of back in September are beginning to go to rot.

Early December - Decorating begins. At the house. The store has already been decorated, are you kidding me? Tina and I put up the tree (fake) and we string popcorn (real). I spend three days getting all the tinsel off the tree and the size of the pile of tinsel does not adequately reflect the amount of work done. Cry myself to sleep while wearing Bah Humbug hat using said tinsel to wipe away the tears.

December 15th - Have a theological discussion with boss who thinks I am atheist. She wonders why I still celebrate Xmas when I have religious issues. I try to explain my beliefs (a heady situation at best) and demonstrate that Xmas is to me about family. The hold that two months of commercialized Xmas had on me is broken. Cue the Vince Girauldi Trio.

December 23rd - Mike & Tracy come up to Columbia. After a late shift at work, I go to Old Chicago (from here on out referred to as 'The OC') with aforementioned couple. Have a great time there with them, Gill, & D. Good conversation, good trivia, good beer. Stay much later than anticipated.

December 24th - Up very early to pack and fill the car with Xmas goodies before heading off to work. I have the shortest drive so I close the store on this day. Customers surprisingly very polite and happy, no grouching, no scrooging. I am not wearing Bah Humbug hat.

December 24th evening - Close store at 6. Leave store at 6:30. Drive to St Louis in hopes that I can make the Crowe family Xmas before we are suppossed to leave for 'Midnight Mass'. Surprisingly easy drive even with the rain. Arrive at Aunt Maureen's around 8:30. Exchange gifts with Godparents. I give them a bottle of wine and bottle of alcohol respectively. I get a mixed twelve pack of beer and a giftcard. Alcohol exchange not planned, but hilarious. We sure know each other. Quick hi/bye/strong vodka & sprite before heading off to church. St Joan of Arc 'midnight' mass starts the carols at 10pm.

At this point I will take a break from the play by play style due to their being much more information.

I enjoy Christmas mass. Why is this you ask? Aren't you a lapsed Catholic? Aren't you an agnostic heathen? Well first off I don't like labels. I heard once 'There are as many different Gods in this world as their are people'. No one's God is the exact same. No one has the exact same belief structure. As I am still looking for my faith and what it means to me, I have as yet not found a religion that I necessarily 'fit' into. I have actually been yelled at by various people because I have said I do not have faith in the divinity of Jesus. Do they honestly think yelling at me is going to help make their point? I've also been told I made a conscious choice to reject Jesus and should be ashamed for it. I don't see having faith in something being a conscious choice. Searching for faith is a conscious choice, and that I am doing.

Okay, back to enjoying Xmas mass. Three years ago at Xmas mass, my father and I had a discussion as I told him I would not be going up to take Communion. He asked why. I replied that I didn't have faith in the divinity of Jesus, the changing of bread and wine into the body and blood of Jesus, and respected others beliefs in these things too much to not treat that Sacrament with anything other than the utmost respect it deserved. I wasn't going to diminish it by not believing in what I was doing just to make myself and others more comfortable. You should see the looks some people get when they don't get up for Communion. I also mentioned I wouldn't be saying some of the prayers. Again, not going to diminish it for others by reciting something I don't necessarily believe. I still say the beginning and various parts of the Creed. I still say the Our Father. And I still sing no matter what it is I'm singing. Sorry on that point, I just enjoy singing too much to care. So we had a discussion in the pew for about a half hour waiting for mass to start. It is one of the most clearing and weight lifting conversations I have ever had. I was worried he would be upset and in fact, quite the opposite.

One of the reasons I enjoy Xmas mass is because it reminds me of that year that i grew closer to my father and also grew to be less scared or worried of searching for my own faith. Another is the amount of singing I get to do. Since I had been going to church for a solid 18 years, the songs feel like home. Speaking of the music, my mother has been in the choir my entire life, too. So I would hear the church songs at home when she was practicing. Some of my favorite songs remain church songs to this day. On Eagle's Wings, Taste and See, Amazing Grace, and the Ol Easter Standby - Jesus Is Life.

Another reason I enjoy mass in general and Xmas mass at St Joan now is due to Fr Turek's homilies. He is a very good homilist. I came away from church that night happy because his message was basicly, 'God is in the messy.'

I vowed to open all of my presents as messily as possible.

To be continued...